People.

I am not a people person.

I cannot stand them for long, I guess that is why I am constantly ditched, because I let it happen.

Ugh, I just want to stop stressing over silly things, but I cannot. 

Grr.

Here is a ruined work in progress, Fail computer failed and killed the layers.

Hi, My name is Savannah, and I have issues.

I have issues with everything.

Depression.

My art.

Sadness.

Sleeping.

Eating.

Friends.

Food.

Loneliness.

Heights.

People.

Computers.

Music.

Animals.

Being Happy.

Making Friends.

Motivation.

Bullies.

Everything.

I am extremely depressed right now, 

I keep thinking of killing myself.

I would never kill myself, I just keep thinking about it.

I want to cry so badly, but if I cry, my parents will flip out, I don't want to have to bare an awkward conversation with my mom yelling at me again.
I want to talk to Mason, but he seems to be ignoring me. 

I miss him so much, I just want to talk to him, talking to him makes everything better.
It's like a remedy, Every time I talk to him, everything is better, even for a little while, I sleep better after I talk to him.

I am obsessing over little things, like Adam deleting my suggestion for a cheer off of our FB page, I MADE that page, and he has taken it over.

I want to disappear.
I want to talk to Mason.
I want my parents to finally understand me.

I drew this, if anyone cares.

I've been neglecting blogger.

I am so sorry! TT-TT

I got Windows 7 instead of Ubuntu now!

W00t, Going to make some videos, and start a livestream or Join.me for art!

So, anyways, go check out my dA for what I've been up to, since I've been posting there a bit more often. ^^

My deviantART

^Click there^

Have a nice day.

Because it's "fair"

I'm just going to pop in here and complain about not being allowed to have a puppy.

It is sort of a rant, I guess, I just need to complain to someone about it because my sister is getting a hamster soon.



For years, I have been asking and begging to get a puppy.
But all I get is "No Savannah, You are not responsible enough for a puppy"

I have had two pets of my own in my life, a betta fish, who lived way past the average(He lived to be 2 years older than normal betta fish)

and a duck, I ended up giving him to my sister, then she had to give away all her animals. 


Now, I should tell you, years ago, one time when we went to Kansas, my dad and aunt decided to get my younger sister an iguana.

They took both of us to the pet store, and let my little sister pick out an iguana, letting me look at all the other pets, where I ended up finding an adorable little puppy who fell asleep in my arms.

When I was told that my little sister would be getting a pet, and that I could not have one.

Do you know how being told that your little sister could get something that you also wanted but you couldn't have feels?

They also didn't tell my mom about it, I actually told her about this, not knowing that they where going to "surprise" her with it.


Again, I am too nice to people, to realize what they had done.

I wasn't allowed to have pets, but my irresponsible little sister could.

I wouldn't be allowed to have pets until years later, when they FINALLY decided to get me a betta fish.

Well, my little sister would hardly clean her iguana's cage, he ended up getting sick and dying.


Well, the next year, my betta passed away, after avoiding death several times(He liked to jump out of his tank, which we couldn't find a lid for)

So, my parents decided to get chickens, and to avoid my sister naming them all, They got us ducks.

I am not good with birds.

So my duck ended up being given to her.

Over the next few years(09-11)she got even more birds.

I kept asking for a puppy or a llama(We had horses, and llamas, but our llamas where a bit wild and all the babies where "family" pets)

No.
Was always the answer.

Well we had to give away all of the pets besides the dog and cat. 

My sister bugged dad for a hamster.

Guess who is going to get one in a few months?


I've been asking for a dog since forever.

But no.


Because I am "irresponsible".


But my little sister who won't clean cages, or properly feed/water animals can have whatever she wants.


And my parents say they are "fair".

Because spoiling your favourite child is "fair".

They wonder why I have motivation issues.

They are always yelling at me "WHY AREN'T YO MOTIVATED TO DO THINGS!"

Well, Would YOU be motivated to do things when everything you do gets bluntly insulted and never have your own parents support you in any way.

My dad just literally told everyone how "pointless and what a waste of time to go to Savannah's Venture crew meetings."

I want to curl up into a ball and cry but if I do then he'll get upset and everyone will yell at me.

I just want to do the things I like, but no.

My art will "never get you anywhere in life"

The only  reason I am in Venturing is because "you only want to socialize" 

Dating Mason is only "Because he gives you attention"

I want to hide, I want to stay away for a while, and I wish they would actually realize that I am NOT LIKE THEM.

Maybe I LIKE drawing, Maybe it is one of the few things that makes ME happy.

Maybe I WANT to do things in the Venture crew, like shooting and camping and getting to do new things. Because maybe that is what makes ME happy.

Maybe I want to go out with Mason because I LIKE him.

Maybe I want to have MY OWN life.


I wish they would notice how depressed I am.

I wish someone did.



Along with some other news.

So I've said yes to Mason, But my parents refuse to say anything.

They think something will happen to me or that because he's seventeen he's going to be sex crazed.

Uh-huh, They also think that somehow I'll get wrapped up in it.

Umm, okay, They don't seem to realise that I don't actually care about sex.

They think that it will bother me that we are different races.

Umm, alrighty then...

I.Do.Not.Care.

They refuse to realise.

I do not care about race, sexuality, gender, hair colour,religion, or whatever.

It means nothing to me.

I like a person for being themselves.

Not because of anything else.

Sorry I've been away

I mean, I still have to make some videos, xD but I guess I should post something.

So for the last few weeks, my good guyfriend, Mason, has been acting weird toward me.

He normally comes up and plays around with my mom and I, jokes with us, then will hang out.

But for the last few weeks at scouts, he'd avoid me, and stay at a distance.

Well, I had to miss Court of Honor(a potluck where everyone gets their merit badges)

He texted me that night asking where I was.

So,  we talked for a while, he said he had something to ask me, but he kept "forgetting"

Finally, he sent this ". .... ..."

and I joked that I didn't know morse code(Which it isn't)

So he sent me this ". ...... .... ...! .... ... .. ... .... ..?"

and said to figure it out, and that it will always be there.

So, want to know what it says?

"I really like you! Will you go out with me?"

My answer ". .... ... ..."

"I like you too"

Now to find out how to get around the parents. ^^'

Hopefully they will let me.

Merry Christmas~

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Hai~ /hasnot got the video, since her room has crappy lighting and she can't get the camera to where her head actually shows xD

Buuut, Guess what?

Oh, first I'll brag about my Christmas presents.

So, first, I got a shotgun with a pink camo case :)

Then some shirts and a pair of jeans.

A pair of earmuffs that are suuuper comfy :)

A pair of sparkly grey gloves with poofy stuff on the ends :)

A Purse that is cute, but too small for my sketch books and stuff(Mom got it on propose xD)
An airsoft pistol, which I have wanted, but not the awesome one I want really bad. :)

A wolf calendar :P

And some boots, but I need to return them because they are too big xD

And yay!

Okies, My surprise :P

I've been writing a comic dairy, which will eventually be found on here(When I bother to scan all of them xD)

Anyways, Bye bye duckies~

~Savannah~