Hi, My name is Savannah, and I have issues.

I have issues with everything.

Depression.

My art.

Sadness.

Sleeping.

Eating.

Friends.

Food.

Loneliness.

Heights.

People.

Computers.

Music.

Animals.

Being Happy.

Making Friends.

Motivation.

Bullies.

Everything.

I am extremely depressed right now, 

I keep thinking of killing myself.

I would never kill myself, I just keep thinking about it.

I want to cry so badly, but if I cry, my parents will flip out, I don't want to have to bare an awkward conversation with my mom yelling at me again.
I want to talk to Mason, but he seems to be ignoring me. 

I miss him so much, I just want to talk to him, talking to him makes everything better.
It's like a remedy, Every time I talk to him, everything is better, even for a little while, I sleep better after I talk to him.

I am obsessing over little things, like Adam deleting my suggestion for a cheer off of our FB page, I MADE that page, and he has taken it over.

I want to disappear.
I want to talk to Mason.
I want my parents to finally understand me.

I drew this, if anyone cares.

No Savannah You are not allowed to be happy

That is what I think the universe is trying to tell me.

My family forgets I exist until they need me to do something.

They leave me at the house, Go get breakfast at the diner, get lunch at lunch time, well leaving me at our house, That has almost no food in it.

And we can't cook in the house or else it gets too hot, so I can't make anything.

I am hungry, tired and feel utterly alone.

I only have three friends I feel I can rely on, 'sept one lives in GA, one is a guy that my parents don't really want to approve of.

And the other one my parents don't want over here so they don't have to explain my sisters behavior.

I want to disappear.  

~Savannah

Fool.

I made a total fool out of myself tonight.

Now he probably thinks I am a <Insert word for female dog here>.

All because, 

#1. I was mad at our stupid internet tower for being blocked by the rain.

#2. I was upset over spilling flour on myself and one of my favourite shirts.

#3. My stupid cell phone is a failphone and wouldn't receive the texts right.

#4. Facebook texting me this "  , H F 2" everytime.

I thought facebook was someone spamming me, so my semi-rude replies to the texts actually went to facebook, to the status he was commenting on, where I acted like a jerk.

I hate myself, because I really really hoped he'd want to become my friend.

Now it is ruined.

And I doubt he'll even show up at class now ):

Why am I such a failure?

Nevermind, don't comment, I don't want to sound like a whiner, so leave my blog, act like you never saw this.

Goodnight.

~MewMew(Savannah)