To think

To think that I actually thought I might have had friends.

To  think the I respected these people.

How sexist can you be? 

Just because I am a girl, means what?

That if I say "Hi" to you, you can ignore me?

That you avoid me?

That MY OWN VENTURE CREW LEADER WILL NOT EVEN LOOK AT ME?

I admired you guys, really.

I looked up to my leaders.

Am I not worth it?

What did she say to you?

Why won't you acknowledge my presence.

I am here too.

I really am, I just want someone to say "Hey, Savannah, you're okay."

Can nobody accept me?

Thank you for making this ongoing depression worse.

Thank you so effing much.

I really only wanted someone or something to tell me that I am 'okay' that I am not some worthless piece of crap left to rot.

I actually valued your opinions highly, I took whatever you said literally.

I tried to ask for help.

You shoved me into a sled.

I tried to voice my opinion.

You ignored me.

I tried to stick with the group.

You left me behind and ditched me.

But not Mason and Dana.

No, Dana actually comes over to hang out with ME.

Mason actually tries helping me.

Dana asks for my help, even if I have none to give, at least I know that I am needed.

Mason actually comes over just to poke me and play.

I had taught myself not to value boys' opinions, but, the last year changed all that.
Now I realized I shouldn't have stopped that.

Why?

Why am I worthless?

Why can't I have a value?

Why can't you just acknowledge that I am here too?

What does she have that I don't?

She can speak in front of people, I cannot, but she also lies constantly.

It is extremely hard for me to lie, I believe in karma.

I know I have no valuable skills.

Are those reasons really enough to do all that?

I bet you have no idea about this depression that I have.

Throwing myself out of a moving car sounds good. 

Buttons

Guys, I now have a bit of an obsession with those buttons that link to different bloggers' blogs.

I only have three(That I stole from three sisters).

I am making my own later. ^^'

BUT I WANT MOOOOORE.

Please. 

This is basically free advertising for you!

I'll do a button swap once I get mine made, too~

~Mew the bucket signing out~

Some photos

I have some photos from places.

 Some beading supplies.

 Mason and Kevin having an epic moment at Biathlon

 Annnd it's over.

 My dad trying to figure out what the award ceremony was going to be like at Biathlon.

 My sister on a weird bridge thing that goes over a parking lot to some apartments.

I drew this a few months ago, when I still had long hair. 

I fail badly.

I promised everyone a new vlog would be taken at Klondike, and in the excitement of everything, I may have left my video camera in the car. ):

I do have a silly video from the other day when we had to turn the power off because the kitchen almost caught on fire. xD

Hopefully it will load. xD

Throwing things at people.

There are some people who I want to throw bricks at.

Mention their names, and my thoughts are "I wish I had a brick"

Ohwell.

People.

I am not a people person.

I cannot stand them for long, I guess that is why I am constantly ditched, because I let it happen.

Ugh, I just want to stop stressing over silly things, but I cannot. 

Grr.

Here is a ruined work in progress, Fail computer failed and killed the layers.

Hi, My name is Savannah, and I have issues.

I have issues with everything.

Depression.

My art.

Sadness.

Sleeping.

Eating.

Friends.

Food.

Loneliness.

Heights.

People.

Computers.

Music.

Animals.

Being Happy.

Making Friends.

Motivation.

Bullies.

Everything.

I am extremely depressed right now, 

I keep thinking of killing myself.

I would never kill myself, I just keep thinking about it.

I want to cry so badly, but if I cry, my parents will flip out, I don't want to have to bare an awkward conversation with my mom yelling at me again.
I want to talk to Mason, but he seems to be ignoring me. 

I miss him so much, I just want to talk to him, talking to him makes everything better.
It's like a remedy, Every time I talk to him, everything is better, even for a little while, I sleep better after I talk to him.

I am obsessing over little things, like Adam deleting my suggestion for a cheer off of our FB page, I MADE that page, and he has taken it over.

I want to disappear.
I want to talk to Mason.
I want my parents to finally understand me.

I drew this, if anyone cares.

I've been neglecting blogger.

I am so sorry! TT-TT

I got Windows 7 instead of Ubuntu now!

W00t, Going to make some videos, and start a livestream or Join.me for art!

So, anyways, go check out my dA for what I've been up to, since I've been posting there a bit more often. ^^

My deviantART

^Click there^

Have a nice day.