To think that I actually thought I might have had friends.
To think the I respected these people.
How sexist can you be?
Just because I am a girl, means what?
That if I say "Hi" to you, you can ignore me?
That you avoid me?
That MY OWN VENTURE CREW LEADER WILL NOT EVEN LOOK AT ME?
I admired you guys, really.
I looked up to my leaders.
Am I not worth it?
What did she say to you?
Why won't you acknowledge my presence.
I am here too.
I really am, I just want someone to say "Hey, Savannah, you're okay."
Can nobody accept me?
Thank you for making this ongoing depression worse.
Thank you so effing much.
I really only wanted someone or something to tell me that I am 'okay' that I am not some worthless piece of crap left to rot.
I actually valued your opinions highly, I took whatever you said literally.
I tried to ask for help.
You shoved me into a sled.
I tried to voice my opinion.
You ignored me.
I tried to stick with the group.
You left me behind and ditched me.
But not Mason and Dana.
No, Dana actually comes over to hang out with ME.
Mason actually tries helping me.
Dana asks for my help, even if I have none to give, at least I know that I am needed.
Mason actually comes over just to poke me and play.
I had taught myself not to value boys' opinions, but, the last year changed all that.
Now I realized I shouldn't have stopped that.
I had taught myself not to value boys' opinions, but, the last year changed all that.
Now I realized I shouldn't have stopped that.
Why?
Why am I worthless?
Why can't I have a value?
Why can't you just acknowledge that I am here too?
What does she have that I don't?
She can speak in front of people, I cannot, but she also lies constantly.
It is extremely hard for me to lie, I believe in karma.
I know I have no valuable skills.
Are those reasons really enough to do all that?
I bet you have no idea about this depression that I have.
Throwing myself out of a moving car sounds good.
Wait who's Mason????
ReplyDeleteAh savannah, I am sorry for your depression :(
I think If I was there I could help (aka I am your friend :).
Try going to New hope, maybe you can find a new purpose in your life.
I love ya girl :)
Hey you, don't be sad okay? Promise? I have crappy days too, but you have to remember the good ones, because they make up for them. When God opens a door He ALWAYS opens another, and you need to realize that He is not giving up on you, so why should you give up? The creator of the universe loves you so much, and there is reason you were put here, and not just so you could go kill yourself. I have a quote for you "Not to spoil the ending for you but everything is going to be okay". You'll be okay, just don't focus on the bad stuff, k? Your in my prayers!
ReplyDelete@Becca, Mason is my boyfriend/guy I am going out with.
ReplyDeleteI have too much scout stuff, everything we do is on Sundays. :/
@Hannah, I haven't given up, and I'm not going to kill myself(I'm against suicide) I just think about it, and when I'm angry and I write it gets to be over dramatic.
I am one of those "go with the flow" type people, I let things work themselves out, which is why my flow keeps running into walls, and this girl, she is our 'president' but I've known her for years, and she's left emotional scars, Which Adam(The other VP) knows about, But everyone keeps avoiding and ignoring me. xD
Okay put a picture up of mason, I wanna see XD
ReplyDeleteAlso, ok you don't need to go to church but maybe you Hannah could hang out, at a youth group maybe????
I would but he doesn't let me take pictures of him~ xD
ReplyDeleteMy mom hates driving me anywhere. xD
Hahaha oh good o' mason!
ReplyDeletewell try to hop a right with someone.
Our friend Mikayla lives in New castle, she might be willing, if you want to that is.....
I have a new friend that I hang out with, along with Amanda.
ReplyDelete^^
He is so silly,He is really photogenic too. xD