Lonely.

You know that feeling of being rejected?

That is how I feel everyday.

My good friend, Says he doesn't just call people "friends"

Not like I do.

I call everyone and anyone a "friend"

Even if they insult me, If they stab me in the back.

If they ditch me, if they make plans to hang out without me, right in front of me.

If they hurt me, if they just don't like what I like.

I still do.

Even if I met them online.

 

I don't even get why I call everyone a friend.

All they do is reject me.

I started planning an event, for some friends of mine, almost a month ahead of the date.

Now this event is on Sunday, and I only have  one or two people showing up.

I want to cry, since I had thought everyone who was commenting on it was coming, they had all said they would.

But, they didn't.

I already knew that my best friend couldn't come, due to it being on a Sunday.

This happens on my birthday too, every year, even though I always invite the same group at the same time.

Most of them make plans.

People go out of their way to avoid me.

I just want some real "friends"

Some real people to want to hang out somewhere with ME.

Is that too much to ask for?

I know I am being whiny, and annoying, you have no reason to read this.

You should just stop coming here anyways.

Don't read, not if you don't want to.

Leave me, everyone else does.

I am probably this way because of my childhood.

Yup.

No one ever paid attention to me in dance, I had no real friends there.

My dad doesn't like me.

and most of my life my mom has been to busy with my sister to pay attention to me.

Also calling your daughter worthless is a big help, really dad.

Avoiding her too, that helped a ton dad.

I want to curl up in a small ball and cry.

I don't know how to stop hoping though.

Stop thinking "Someone must love me, right?"

Stop whining

Stop whining

Stop whining.

Nobody likes whiners.

I should stop writing, but it is my only way to vent.

I hate burdening people with my problems.

Probably the reason I don't say all of this in real life.

Goodbye for now.

~MewMew{Savannah}

Because nobody will listen.

I am depressed and sick of no one noticing.
I listen to everyone complain, I don't care what it is, I always listen and support them.
Nobody does that for me.

I've been interested in archery for, what is it, three or four years now.
Well, my dad, who is supposed to teach me how to shoot with a bow, but he'd rather take Mackenzie out shooting with her rifle.

I only have about three friends my age that hung out with me, two of which, live far away now.
The other is too busy to text/talk/IM me anymore, sometime's it feels like she is just ignoring me.

I can't even get people to talk to me online, I sat on iscribble for over an hour, waiting for someone to come into the same room as me.
even WHILS is ignoring me, every RP, topic and chat I make or comment on, dies.
Nobody bothers to talk to me on dA either, I am such novice that nobody bothers.

My mom won't ask me about anything, and I don't have enough courage to try to talk about anything expect manga and things I've read, then everyone complains that that is all I talk about.

I quit expecting anything or getting excited about anything, because once I do, mom or dad suddenly decide not to go/do whatever it was.

Everyone that likes me always end up moving away.

I'm not allowed to wear/get any of the styles I like.

Everyone besides Amanda, left class.

I'm the only one in the house that gets used or handy-down computers/phones/technology/furniture.

I can't go to any clubs/sports or meet any new people because I am home schooled or it's too far away, too much money, my parents just don't want to drive me.

My mom said she'd talk to her friend/partner-like person about me getting a small weekly job-type thing, but she always 'forgets' even though I put reminders on her cell phone.

I'm only posting this on here because I need to vent.

Here is a drawing/screenie of a drawing I made in iScribble, I made the Chibi, the other drawing belongs to someone else.