Lonely.

You know that feeling of being rejected?

That is how I feel everyday.

My good friend, Says he doesn't just call people "friends"

Not like I do.

I call everyone and anyone a "friend"

Even if they insult me, If they stab me in the back.

If they ditch me, if they make plans to hang out without me, right in front of me.

If they hurt me, if they just don't like what I like.

I still do.

Even if I met them online.

 

I don't even get why I call everyone a friend.

All they do is reject me.

I started planning an event, for some friends of mine, almost a month ahead of the date.

Now this event is on Sunday, and I only have  one or two people showing up.

I want to cry, since I had thought everyone who was commenting on it was coming, they had all said they would.

But, they didn't.

I already knew that my best friend couldn't come, due to it being on a Sunday.

This happens on my birthday too, every year, even though I always invite the same group at the same time.

Most of them make plans.

People go out of their way to avoid me.

I just want some real "friends"

Some real people to want to hang out somewhere with ME.

Is that too much to ask for?

I know I am being whiny, and annoying, you have no reason to read this.

You should just stop coming here anyways.

Don't read, not if you don't want to.

Leave me, everyone else does.

I am probably this way because of my childhood.

Yup.

No one ever paid attention to me in dance, I had no real friends there.

My dad doesn't like me.

and most of my life my mom has been to busy with my sister to pay attention to me.

Also calling your daughter worthless is a big help, really dad.

Avoiding her too, that helped a ton dad.

I want to curl up in a small ball and cry.

I don't know how to stop hoping though.

Stop thinking "Someone must love me, right?"

Stop whining

Stop whining

Stop whining.

Nobody likes whiners.

I should stop writing, but it is my only way to vent.

I hate burdening people with my problems.

Probably the reason I don't say all of this in real life.

Goodbye for now.

~MewMew{Savannah}