Whee!

I getta sell art tomorrow at my parents sale xD

Bust sketches for 3 bucks.

Bust drawings for about 6 bucks.

YEY!

Also, would anyone want to buy some art from me?

I can get a paypal.

For those prices, and I'll do coloured for 10 bucks :P

I need some money to unlock my itunes account xD

Mew Suddenly has a YouTube account...

Yeh, Mom finally let me have one.

I uploaded a video.

Here is the Link.

It is a weird video of me and my cat, my sister is in it for a few seconds as well xD

Anyways, just thought I'd share with you.

~MewMewSensei(Savannah)

Fool.

I made a total fool out of myself tonight.

Now he probably thinks I am a <Insert word for female dog here>.

All because, 

#1. I was mad at our stupid internet tower for being blocked by the rain.

#2. I was upset over spilling flour on myself and one of my favourite shirts.

#3. My stupid cell phone is a failphone and wouldn't receive the texts right.

#4. Facebook texting me this "  , H F 2" everytime.

I thought facebook was someone spamming me, so my semi-rude replies to the texts actually went to facebook, to the status he was commenting on, where I acted like a jerk.

I hate myself, because I really really hoped he'd want to become my friend.

Now it is ruined.

And I doubt he'll even show up at class now ):

Why am I such a failure?

Nevermind, don't comment, I don't want to sound like a whiner, so leave my blog, act like you never saw this.

Goodnight.

~MewMew(Savannah)

Lonely.

You know that feeling of being rejected?

That is how I feel everyday.

My good friend, Says he doesn't just call people "friends"

Not like I do.

I call everyone and anyone a "friend"

Even if they insult me, If they stab me in the back.

If they ditch me, if they make plans to hang out without me, right in front of me.

If they hurt me, if they just don't like what I like.

I still do.

Even if I met them online.

 

I don't even get why I call everyone a friend.

All they do is reject me.

I started planning an event, for some friends of mine, almost a month ahead of the date.

Now this event is on Sunday, and I only have  one or two people showing up.

I want to cry, since I had thought everyone who was commenting on it was coming, they had all said they would.

But, they didn't.

I already knew that my best friend couldn't come, due to it being on a Sunday.

This happens on my birthday too, every year, even though I always invite the same group at the same time.

Most of them make plans.

People go out of their way to avoid me.

I just want some real "friends"

Some real people to want to hang out somewhere with ME.

Is that too much to ask for?

I know I am being whiny, and annoying, you have no reason to read this.

You should just stop coming here anyways.

Don't read, not if you don't want to.

Leave me, everyone else does.

I am probably this way because of my childhood.

Yup.

No one ever paid attention to me in dance, I had no real friends there.

My dad doesn't like me.

and most of my life my mom has been to busy with my sister to pay attention to me.

Also calling your daughter worthless is a big help, really dad.

Avoiding her too, that helped a ton dad.

I want to curl up in a small ball and cry.

I don't know how to stop hoping though.

Stop thinking "Someone must love me, right?"

Stop whining

Stop whining

Stop whining.

Nobody likes whiners.

I should stop writing, but it is my only way to vent.

I hate burdening people with my problems.

Probably the reason I don't say all of this in real life.

Goodbye for now.

~MewMew{Savannah}

Divorce.

My Parents are getting divorced.

Then End.

I wish you'd notice me.

I tend to get ditched/left behind/forgotten.

a lot of the time.

I mean I watched some "friends" make plans to go to dinner in front of me, then walk off, I was about a foot away from one of them, hoping to talk to her.

I had some "friends" make plans to hang out(without me) for the weekend.

On my facebook wall.

I got left behind a lot at camp.

I have been ditched.

I have had "friends" invite me over, then invite other friends over, and tell me to go home.

So on the rare occasion that someone remembers me, and acts like I am a person,

They end up living in another state, or don't have time for me to see them.

My own family does it.

and example from last night.

Mom:"Mackenzie, what do you want for dinner?"

Mackenzie:"Something light, I'm not very hungry."

Mom calls dad.

Mom:"What would you like?"(she is on the phone to dad)

Mom:"okay" walks back inside the house, not even bothering to look at me.

This is why I constantly wonder why I am even here.

I have no propose.

MewMewSensei(Savannah)

Hey.

I am not perfect.

I cannot sing nor play an instrument.

I fail at math.

I have a few friends.

I like different music than most of the world.

I cannot hold a grudge, unless I really feel hurt.

I smile to hide the fact that

My World is falling apart.

I wish someone would see me

Falling.

Falling.

Falling.

I write things on my arms, that aren't nice about myself.

I don't tell people about what's going on.

I don't want to burden you.

I want you to treat me how you feel about me.

I fantasize about a better place.

I think of what I can say to those who are hurting me.

I cannot say anything to their faces.

Someone did make me feel wanted, for once.

But I cannot tell him that.

I would probably end up mute.

and alone.

But I am alone, in a sense.

Always have been, I guess.

Alone.

Alone in a world of my thoughts.

I trip.

I catch myself.

I don't cry in front of you.

I smile.

I cry alone.

alone.

Or under those huge sunglasses I love so much.

I don't want you to see the tears.

I do.

I don't.

I do.

I want someone to hang out with.

Someone to tell me, that I am okay.

That I am not alone.

I want to cry in front of you.

Tell you what is going on.

But I cannot.

Not until you realize how much you mean to me.

How much the few times you've looked out for me.

The girl who spazzes out.

The girl who didn't realize the guy was flirting with her.

You helped me when everyone else walked on by.

You noticed I am new to this.

That I am not "strong"

That maybe someone should help the new girl.

You stayed when everyone else left me behind.

Most of the time.

I try to hide the fact I get left out.

Left behind.

I want to thank you anyways, if you even read this.

I cannot wait to see you again.

I hope you want to become friends.

~MewMewSensei(Savannah)