Darkbreeze.

@Darkbreeze,
I do tell them I love them, everyday, I give my mom hugs all the time, I've told them parts of this, I quit smiling and acting happy the last few days, yet all I got was my mom telling me to smile.
The reason I have this blog is to vent, because, like I said I only have a few friends, none of which truly want to hear my problems, I don't have anyone to talk to in real life, once you go for almost a year through all the stress of knowing everyone's secrets and them venting to you, while you can't vent back.
It hurts, I cannot go tell my bestfriend that my sister did this or that my parents did that like normal people do, I never get to spend any real time with her anymore, and I can't say ANYTHING in front of my sister or else she will tell Acacia, who will change it and embarrass me in front of my BSA troop.
I cannot go on a walk without my sister saying something rude and hurtful about my body/personality/whatever to me while noone is around to here it, and if I tell my parents they do nothing about it.

I can't tell my bestfriend something because my parents do not want anyone to know, she reads my blog so I can't even post about it, even though I really really want her to know.

And talking to my parents, I've done that, except for the fact that I get nervous while talking to ANYONE, which makes my voice sometimes sound whiny, or I freak out and start talking about anime/art/BSA.
They hate that and normally walk away instead of listening to me.

The one person I thought would actually listen(My mom's best friend)

about camp, didn't, because my mom went and told her the half of it I told to my parents.

She snapped at me, saying she didn't want to here it.

I had left somethings out, because I was afraid my over-protective mom would have me taken out of scouts.

But, like I said earlier, this blog was created for me to vent.

And actually, they ended up not letting me sell art, they left me at the house all weekend.

~Savannah.

No Savannah You are not allowed to be happy

That is what I think the universe is trying to tell me.

My family forgets I exist until they need me to do something.

They leave me at the house, Go get breakfast at the diner, get lunch at lunch time, well leaving me at our house, That has almost no food in it.

And we can't cook in the house or else it gets too hot, so I can't make anything.

I am hungry, tired and feel utterly alone.

I only have three friends I feel I can rely on, 'sept one lives in GA, one is a guy that my parents don't really want to approve of.

And the other one my parents don't want over here so they don't have to explain my sisters behavior.

I want to disappear.  

~Savannah

Whee!

I getta sell art tomorrow at my parents sale xD

Bust sketches for 3 bucks.

Bust drawings for about 6 bucks.

YEY!

Also, would anyone want to buy some art from me?

I can get a paypal.

For those prices, and I'll do coloured for 10 bucks :P

I need some money to unlock my itunes account xD

Mew Suddenly has a YouTube account...

Yeh, Mom finally let me have one.

I uploaded a video.

Here is the Link.

It is a weird video of me and my cat, my sister is in it for a few seconds as well xD

Anyways, just thought I'd share with you.

~MewMewSensei(Savannah)

Fool.

I made a total fool out of myself tonight.

Now he probably thinks I am a <Insert word for female dog here>.

All because, 

#1. I was mad at our stupid internet tower for being blocked by the rain.

#2. I was upset over spilling flour on myself and one of my favourite shirts.

#3. My stupid cell phone is a failphone and wouldn't receive the texts right.

#4. Facebook texting me this "  , H F 2" everytime.

I thought facebook was someone spamming me, so my semi-rude replies to the texts actually went to facebook, to the status he was commenting on, where I acted like a jerk.

I hate myself, because I really really hoped he'd want to become my friend.

Now it is ruined.

And I doubt he'll even show up at class now ):

Why am I such a failure?

Nevermind, don't comment, I don't want to sound like a whiner, so leave my blog, act like you never saw this.

Goodnight.

~MewMew(Savannah)

Lonely.

You know that feeling of being rejected?

That is how I feel everyday.

My good friend, Says he doesn't just call people "friends"

Not like I do.

I call everyone and anyone a "friend"

Even if they insult me, If they stab me in the back.

If they ditch me, if they make plans to hang out without me, right in front of me.

If they hurt me, if they just don't like what I like.

I still do.

Even if I met them online.

 

I don't even get why I call everyone a friend.

All they do is reject me.

I started planning an event, for some friends of mine, almost a month ahead of the date.

Now this event is on Sunday, and I only have  one or two people showing up.

I want to cry, since I had thought everyone who was commenting on it was coming, they had all said they would.

But, they didn't.

I already knew that my best friend couldn't come, due to it being on a Sunday.

This happens on my birthday too, every year, even though I always invite the same group at the same time.

Most of them make plans.

People go out of their way to avoid me.

I just want some real "friends"

Some real people to want to hang out somewhere with ME.

Is that too much to ask for?

I know I am being whiny, and annoying, you have no reason to read this.

You should just stop coming here anyways.

Don't read, not if you don't want to.

Leave me, everyone else does.

I am probably this way because of my childhood.

Yup.

No one ever paid attention to me in dance, I had no real friends there.

My dad doesn't like me.

and most of my life my mom has been to busy with my sister to pay attention to me.

Also calling your daughter worthless is a big help, really dad.

Avoiding her too, that helped a ton dad.

I want to curl up in a small ball and cry.

I don't know how to stop hoping though.

Stop thinking "Someone must love me, right?"

Stop whining

Stop whining

Stop whining.

Nobody likes whiners.

I should stop writing, but it is my only way to vent.

I hate burdening people with my problems.

Probably the reason I don't say all of this in real life.

Goodbye for now.

~MewMew{Savannah}

Divorce.

My Parents are getting divorced.

Then End.