Oops I lied.

Meh, You see, Our President is a bit...special, in a bad way.
Fuck.
You see, Two weeks ago, She decided that for <her> and <her mom's> activity this summer, That we would go get fitted for backpacks at the local camp/outdoor store.
Now, This being <her> activity, She is supposed to set it up.
She refused to call them, after her mother snapped at the entire crew for "Not ever doing things on our own"
and an awkward four minutes of silence until I volunteered to help out of panic.

So I got this entire fitting for our crew set up, and guess what? Only two others(My good friends, Xavier and Lindsay) show up.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Now, Let's go back about...three weeks?

So our President is sitting at a desk working on her Gold award speech.
A troop leader walks over to her and I(Who was helping another leader at the same desk) and he asks, very politely "(Hername), Is the Crew staying with the troop, or Independently for Moab"
(Moab is the annual trip everyone in the troop and crew goes on)
She says "I'll think about it, and tell you later"
He nods, and leaves.
About twenty minutes later, after talking to the leaders in charge of the trip, he comes back.
"(Hername), It turns out we need to know, Now, like, right now"
She replies that she will get back with him, now these two have never gotten along because he is strict about rules with her.
He again, sighs "We need to know tonight"
He left, and I turned and started debating the benefits of staying with them(Which I wanted) and not,
Eventually she agreed with me, purely to get me to shut up.
I walked over to the leader, Told him we are staying with the troop.
He was amazed I got it done.

Well, We are expected to help out, since they supply everything.
So I planned for us to cook breakfast, Simple, right?
No.
So I was just told, make a meal plan and give it to the patrol in charge of  food.
Ahahahaha. no.
So I made the plan, Then found out from the President's mom, That we need to keep it under $2 a person.
So we worked on it.
Then she threw "Oh we need to have stuff for vegans to eat"
Tonight she kept lying, and telling me that I had to figure out how to get the food.
Now I am stressed, and crying, Due to giving Lindsay a ride, and my sister, I barely spoke to Mason.
I wish I could cry to him.
I really wish I could just cry and snuggle, and be safe and not be screamed at for it.
He'd probably let me too, if I was better at crying in front of people, I can't, I've made it such a habit.
I wish he would just finish up at Job Corps and come home.
Home is good, Home is with me, Home is not five hundred and eighty miles away from me.
Home is where I know I can be with you, and not be scared of everything because you are around.

This sucks.
</3
Savvi.

I plan on posting after next weekend

Nope. Not today.
Try again next Monday. The 22nd.

I miss him

I feel lost.

I don't belong in school.

Nobody really wants me there.

I can tell.

Nobody wants me around.

Nobody really likes me.

I miss Mason.

I miss his hugs.

I want to cry all the time.

I accidentally missed a call from him.

I feel really bad.

He probably won't call until Wednesday now.

I miss him too much.

It isn't fair.

My Heart was stolen to South Dakota.

Mason left to South Dakota to go to the Job Corps boarding school thing. 

He left on Friday, I think I have cried every night since Tuesday(We found out that he had to leave Friday instead of Feb. 11th)

We had Winter Biathlon on Saturday, Everyone there felt like someone was missing, it was Mason, he goes to EVERY Scout event.

I don't think in the two years I've known him that he has missed something.

He stole my heart and left to go to South Dakota.

I don't get to see him until January.

His mother and I have been trying to contact him since Friday with no luck, though the school will call her if something bad happens, We think he has to earn points for tech usage.

So now we end up calling each other every few days to see if one of us has been contacted.

I miss him so much.

It's unfair.

He won't be back until at least next year.

The longest you can stay is two years.

He plans to come back next year.

Hopefully the course he chose is only a year.

I wish he could talk to me.
I need to hear his voice.

I am going to mail him a Valentine's gift or letter.

I haven't decided.
Maybe they will let him have it.

I hope they do.
They can't say no contact.

That is wrong.

wrong

wrong

wrong

It is unfair.

He should be allowed to make phone calls.

He should be allowed to send emails.

They should at least have public phones and PC's if they say no to having your own.

I hope he can contact me.

I would feel so much better.

~

School is okay.

I love the classes I'm taking(Improv. 1 and sewing 1)

But, as far a social/friends.

I don't belong.

I really don't.

They are only letting me eat with them to be polite.

I doubt they want me there.

It's so awkward.

I think I will start eating alone.

Maybe that is less awkward.

I don't know.

I am bad with people.

I cannot attach myself to them.

I am sorry.

~

Scouts is weird.

The end.

Mason needs to be there.

~ 

I am making necklaces, if someone wants to buy one email me.

Dearest Daddy.

Dear 'Daddy'

I don't know how I feel about you.

You've never liked me, I've known this for quite some time, I was in denial, I will admit that much.

But what is a girl to do?

I know you will always love my sister and your girlfriend more.

You've never been interested in me.

You gave up on my archery.

You gave up on Venturing, Which I joined because it was supposed to be something for us to do together.

You never call.

Or text.

Or email.

You just ignore me.

There has never been effort on your part.

It's always what Mackenzie wants to do.

It's always what Mackenzie wants.

Then, maybe if some money, or anything is left over, then maybe Savannah gets something.

I decided to leave, To move in with mom.

What did you do? You said "Okay" then went to go hang out with Mackenzie and your girlfriend.

You didn't care what I did.

You left me alone.

Now when I text or call to get the small remainder of my things back, All you do is tell me how much better my sister is, and how much of a failure I am.

When I text because my phone is supposed to be paid by you, I get accused of never trying to contact you.

I don't try anymore.

You don't care about me.

You don't care what I am doing.

You don't care.

You never try.

You aren't getting my new phone number.

Lonely

The Holiday season is lonely for me.

 All of my friends are off seeing family, or just don't have time for me.

Tonight my mom is busy working, she won't get back until around twelve.

Mason is up in a cabin with his family.

Amanda is probably in Fruita for the week.

No idea what Lindsay is up to.

I've realized I am envious of people who are close to their families.

What is it like to have people that you know have your back?

What is it like having someone to share secrets, and things to?

What's it like to talk to someone openly?

I don't understand.

I want to.

But I am bad at relationships with anyone.

I don't truly trust anyone, no matter how 'open' I seem to people.

I don't like the Holidays that much.

They are lonely.

I will probably make a separate post dedicated to my dad soon.

Love,

MewMew.  

Helix Piercing and some stuff.

I got a double helix piercing on Saturday. <3
Also, For my birthday(11.11.12) I got an ASUS Tablet and keyboard.
I got a PS3 though I'm buying it myself(Paying mom back I mean)

Oooh, Did I mention I live with my mom now? Because my dad is a heartless jerk unfit for being a father.
So now I live in Glenwood Springs, and I get to hang out with my boyfriend and friends and have fun.