They wonder why I have motivation issues.

They are always yelling at me "WHY AREN'T YO MOTIVATED TO DO THINGS!"

Well, Would YOU be motivated to do things when everything you do gets bluntly insulted and never have your own parents support you in any way.

My dad just literally told everyone how "pointless and what a waste of time to go to Savannah's Venture crew meetings."

I want to curl up into a ball and cry but if I do then he'll get upset and everyone will yell at me.

I just want to do the things I like, but no.

My art will "never get you anywhere in life"

The only  reason I am in Venturing is because "you only want to socialize" 

Dating Mason is only "Because he gives you attention"

I want to hide, I want to stay away for a while, and I wish they would actually realize that I am NOT LIKE THEM.

Maybe I LIKE drawing, Maybe it is one of the few things that makes ME happy.

Maybe I WANT to do things in the Venture crew, like shooting and camping and getting to do new things. Because maybe that is what makes ME happy.

Maybe I want to go out with Mason because I LIKE him.

Maybe I want to have MY OWN life.


I wish they would notice how depressed I am.

I wish someone did.



Along with some other news.

So I've said yes to Mason, But my parents refuse to say anything.

They think something will happen to me or that because he's seventeen he's going to be sex crazed.

Uh-huh, They also think that somehow I'll get wrapped up in it.

Umm, okay, They don't seem to realise that I don't actually care about sex.

They think that it will bother me that we are different races.

Umm, alrighty then...

I.Do.Not.Care.

They refuse to realise.

I do not care about race, sexuality, gender, hair colour,religion, or whatever.

It means nothing to me.

I like a person for being themselves.

Not because of anything else.

Sorry I've been away

I mean, I still have to make some videos, xD but I guess I should post something.

So for the last few weeks, my good guyfriend, Mason, has been acting weird toward me.

He normally comes up and plays around with my mom and I, jokes with us, then will hang out.

But for the last few weeks at scouts, he'd avoid me, and stay at a distance.

Well, I had to miss Court of Honor(a potluck where everyone gets their merit badges)

He texted me that night asking where I was.

So,  we talked for a while, he said he had something to ask me, but he kept "forgetting"

Finally, he sent this ". .... ..."

and I joked that I didn't know morse code(Which it isn't)

So he sent me this ". ...... .... ...! .... ... .. ... .... ..?"

and said to figure it out, and that it will always be there.

So, want to know what it says?

"I really like you! Will you go out with me?"

My answer ". .... ... ..."

"I like you too"

Now to find out how to get around the parents. ^^'

Hopefully they will let me.

Merry Christmas~

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Hai~ /hasnot got the video, since her room has crappy lighting and she can't get the camera to where her head actually shows xD

Buuut, Guess what?

Oh, first I'll brag about my Christmas presents.

So, first, I got a shotgun with a pink camo case :)

Then some shirts and a pair of jeans.

A pair of earmuffs that are suuuper comfy :)

A pair of sparkly grey gloves with poofy stuff on the ends :)

A Purse that is cute, but too small for my sketch books and stuff(Mom got it on propose xD)
An airsoft pistol, which I have wanted, but not the awesome one I want really bad. :)

A wolf calendar :P

And some boots, but I need to return them because they are too big xD

And yay!

Okies, My surprise :P

I've been writing a comic dairy, which will eventually be found on here(When I bother to scan all of them xD)

Anyways, Bye bye duckies~

~Savannah~

I ain't dead yet! -shot-

Just mildly depressed :/

I have shot the video twice, but I cannot get it to where I am in the right place xD

My iPod should be coming home tonight :D

and I am going to Kansas for a week to see family and friends~

Well, that is all for now, I might write a real blog post once we get to Kansas(We are leaving on Friday, I think)

I am also getting AVIATOR GOGGLES! <3 <3

You don't know how much I've wanted a pair, but I found some on ebay for seven bucks and bought them xD

VLOGGING!

I got a video camera for my birthday :3

So, here is a video for you.

So, ONWARDS!

Last day of being 14.

11.11.11 is my birthday.

:3

So this is my last day of being a fourteen year old.

~Mew

And she asks why?

My mom is always saying "and it is like you have no motivation!"

Every day, I hear this.

I haven't said it to her yet.

But why aren't I motivated?

Hmm, Well, first off.

Anything and everything I am interested in, You shoot down.

I wanted to learn to skateboard.

"No, you will hurt yourself".

I thought it'd be fun to learn how to make different coffee drinks.

"No, Why would you ever want to do that."

Art.

"YOU CAN'T MAKE A LIVING OFF OF ART!"

She is always saying.

"You are always drawing, getting nothing done!"

No, I haven't drawn very much actually.

I haven't been able to, Since you are always telling me it is worthless,

Then I see her praising my younger sister, after she traced some Beatles pictures.

MY ART IS ORIGINAL, I SPEND HOURS WORKING ON IT, YET MY 13 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN TRACE PHOTOS AND YOU ACTUALLY LOOK AT IT AND PRAISE HER!

I draw on myself when I am upset or stressed.

You yell at me to wash it off, yet my sister can draw on herself, and YOU PRAISE HER!

She draws on everything, and YOU PRAISE HER!

I start doodling on my desk and you scream at me, my sister SAWS THROUGH HER DESK AND YOU PRAISE HER!

My dad avoids and ignores me, instead he brags about my sister, takes her and gets her stuff.

I have always been there for you mom, I have listened to every little problem.

Now you are always with my sister, dad goes off on his own most of the time.

You are spoiling my sister, the second she wants something, YOU GET IT FOR HER.

If I want something, or need something, like shampoo, then no, "you are fine using what is in the bathroom."

I CANNOT USE THAT STUFF, IT RUINS MY HAIR!

You know that, You know that I need different products than the rest of the family.

Yet you ignore that fact.

You let my sister get by with everything, yet if I say anything to her, I get screamed at.

Then you ask why I am depressed.

Why the hell do you think?

I just want someone to bother with me for once.

Savannah.